Acclimation

It's been a while since I've posted, but that's because I've either been busy (and by that I mean actually having priorities to attend to than eating and pissing) or too apathetic or what have you.

Slowly but surely, I'm getting the hang of Samo. The streets are more and more familiar, I'm becoming acquainted with the bus system, and I'm beginning to accept it as my new home. What concerns me is how much of myself I've left further inland. It's to be expected, I suppose, and every once in a while, there's nothing wrong with going back (like my not-quite-live set at Nick's this past weekend :) ), but I feel as if my heart still lies out there.

I think this feeling stems from the fact that I haven't made any real friends at school yet. There's a few kids that my first impressions are that they're cool, wouldn't mind chilling with them, but none of that just yet. Especially given my increased sociability following my MDMA experience this past weekend, it seems as if most people under 30 have some kind of persistent xenophobia that prevents them from opening up to a total stranger.

On a completely unrelated sidenote today, after wearing a decidedly monochromatic hipster-esque wardrobe today, I was told I looked like I listened to Clay Aiken. What the fuck? Don't tell me this is the unintended side effect of my new haircut, it's not THAT faggy. Nothing is!

I've decided to cut down my marijuana use to the weekends. I've always told myself that I'd cut back if I ever felt that my personality was being defined by the substance, and to some extent, I've let it domineer me. I'm no slow-talking stoner drone by any means, but the fact that the first thought that comes to mind when considering any enjoyable outing is "how about a bowl first?" raises a large red flag. That and I need to focus on my studies, I'm not going to passively sit by and let my assignments pile up and overtake me, as I actually intend to complete my coursework, unlike high school, haha. That being said, maybe I should be doing schoolwork and not blogging. Oh well, I need this release.

I've already beaten this to death earlier, I'm sure, but how is it that an attractive, sociable kid such as I has seemingly so many problems making friends? I know I've never had many good friends (by good I mean close, of course), but jeez, if it's like this for me, I can only imagine how it is for the less fortunate. Maybe it's easier, since they're more apt to bond over hobbies.

Speaking of which, when I get my priorities straight, I need to start organizing shows out here, because that may be the je ne sais quoi I lack right now, as well as meeting kids with like taste in music.

I've got a world of possibilities in my hands, progress has been made, but I'm not where I need to be. Not just yet.


But I will be :)