Fuck.


I feel as if I'm becoming someone that I'm not. From time to time I get into the mindset that I'm some kind of heartless antihero who disregards morality for hedonism and that kind of thing, but all it takes is one simply manipulative act to trigger a wake-up call saying "hello, this isn't you, be real, you fuck."


That being said, I wondered why, on my walk home from Subway tonight, why other attractive people seem to never be without someone, and that made me think about what my desired qualities in a girl are, and my inner-i'm high-monologue answered it for me:

-smokes bowls
-fucks
-is "down as fuck"


Hahaha, but realistically, what I really need, I think, is an empathic girl who is attuned to my wants and needs but at the same time is different enough to add variety to my life. Not many girls "get" me, I'm no run of the mill average guy. I'M FUCKIN WEEEEIRDDD

but that's me, I suppose, and I wouldn't have it any other way. More importantly, I'll be damned if I ever sacrifice my integrity to try to score a girl.


I constantly tell myself to approach random girls in passing, I never do. So many times I've longed to go up to girls whose beauty intimidated the shit out of me and say something like "I think you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, what's your name?" but I'm afraid I'd come off as a creeper or get snubbed.

I told Doctor Kush on the Venice Boardwalk I suffer from social anxiety to get my club card, which isn't true, but damn if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

Any girls who meet the above requirements, feel free to be a creeper and come up to me and tell me I'm one the most beautiful boys you've ever seen, or a less ironic variant.


One of these days, I'm going to fucking do it.