Perspective

I've already slipped behind on this shit, how reproachable! Ah, whatever.


Yesterday was an amazing day, underwent my first shroom/edible trip with Will and took from it a newfound appreciation for nature and the cosmic order of all things. Everything is exactly the way it should be, we are all together, blah blah blah. Hung out with Bridge afterward, had a nice dinner and movie and a half afterward. Altogether the best night I've had in a really long time, I'm glad to have met someone as... real, and pure as she is. It's rare to see a girl as attractive as she with no front. It's a nice change.

Today was a stark contrast to the joyous occasions yesterday. I don't know whether it was a bad/weird day so much as flat in comparison, but something felt off. I felt hollow looking at my own reflection, as if I was looking at someone else, someone who looked dead, almost. It may have just been the bags under my eyes, but I felt like it was more than just that.

Everything lately has weighed down on me. I try my best to keep my head up and hold an optimistic outlook, I mean, fuck, life roughly 2 weeks from now should be pretty incredible; the kicker is that from time to time, I just feel so down. I want to escape this empty shell of a relationship that is my apartment, I don't want to see her anymore. I don't want a constant reminder of my time and energy wasted. I don't want this fucking transition, I'm so tired of everything being in this "oh I'm getting ready to..." phase. I want answers, I want action, but alas, I wait for the time being.

I'm putting in my two weeks' notice in to work on the 1st. Good riddance.


I pulled myself out of the funk earlier with self-affirmations over a good dishwashing. It almost brought me to tears to reaffirm what I haven't told myself in so goddamn long: I am somebody. I am attractive. I am a good person. I am fucking worth it. Most importantly,


Everything will be ok.


I know it will, all things in good time, I suppose.


Everything WILL be ok.